Shut the f*** up

I walked into the office one recent Monday morning, sat down at my computer, and read the first thing that popped up on my screen: "Shut the f*** up."

Ok, Monday. Let's do this!

The message was a text response to an automatic text reminder we send out to all of our contractors to ensure they submit their timecards before the weekly deadline so we can get their hours approved in time for payroll processing. If you don't get your timecard submitted before the deadline, tough shit. We run payroll once each week. You miss the deadline, you're outta luck. Try again next week. If you manage to remember to submit your current timecard and the one you missed the previous week before the deadline, then you'll get both paychecks. If you miss again, well...you get the idea.

Probably because it was a Monday, my coworker decided to reply (good for you!) and sent back:

"If you do not wish to receive text messages, please reply STOP to opt out of receiving text messages."

I then graciously changed the employee’s profile to opt out of receiving text messages without waiting for a response.

I know, I’m a real giver at heart.

Chuckling to myself but wondering at the rather vociferous objection to the text, I read through this woman's file because I'm nosy. Lo and behold, she was fired from her assignment as a cafeteria worker at a local school district the Friday before.

Cause: "Poor attendance and poor attitude."

She worked at her assignment for two weeks, called off three times in the two weeks, and was witnessed screaming at another coworker about how to do her job. Great. Seems like a real peach.

I am all primed for the call the day after payday. I can imagine it now:

STFU: I didn't get paid.

Me: Well, it looks like you didn't submit your timecard before the deadline, so there was nothing for us to process when payroll was run.

STFU: Nobody told me to submit my hours.

Me: Well, we did, but you texted back, telling us to shut the f*** up, so we figured you had everything under control and didn't feel you needed another reminder. Guess you did...