I hate math. Truly. There is no girl-power-I-love-math-just-because-I’m-contrary sh** going on in this house. I hate it. I got as far as college calculus, and I'm fairly certain that broke my brain because I feel I now have a problem with basic addition and subtraction. Oh, and it gets worse by the year.
However, my general theory is that the rate at which you lose your math skills is constant regardless of your peak…so even though I feel like I can’t add or subtract worth a hoot now, I’m still a far sight better than someone who peaked at, say, addition and subtraction. I’ve basically got a much larger mountain to fall on my a** from.
There is more to this than humble bragging, though, so just hang in there with me.
One can use math for all kinds of things, but for the purpose of this particular post, we will be using it to calculate the passage of time:
January to April is 3 months.
January through April is 4 months.
December to the following September is 9 months.
Comprende?
If you can't figure it out, use your fingers. Like I just did when counting how many months it was between December and September.
[Ha. I can’t add but at least I’ve retained basic concepts like counting on one’s fingers.]
I would have thought this is not a hard thing, but several weeks ago we had a flurry of interviews all within six hours of one another, all who flunked second grade math. Perhaps it was because that night was the full moon, but I highly doubt the lunar cycle has any effect whatsoever on why people can't math. (Yes, math. As in the verb 'to do math'. Completely not a thing, but I don't care. It is now.)
Let me give you a few examples of how amazing their math skills are not:
Candidate A:
Me: When did you start and leave Speedway?
Applicant: I was there for a year.
Me: Ok, so when did you start and leave Speedway.
Applicant: October 2021 to June 2022.
Me: (wondering what calendar they're looking at) October to June, ok. And when did you start and leave Walmart?
Applicant: I was there for two years.
Me: That doesn't answer when you started and left. When did you start, and when did you leave Walmart?
Applicant: June 2020 to July 2021.
Me: ...So, a year and a month.
Applicant: No, two years.
Me: June 2020 to July 2021 is exactly 13 months. Two years is 24 months. You were there for a year and one month. Let's move on...
Candidate B:
Me: How long were you at Burlington?
Candidate: I was there for a good minute.
Me: (in my opinion, a 'good minute' is about 6 months) Alright, when did you start and leave?
Candidate: February 2019 to March 2019.
Me: (has nothing to say because for all I know it was a legit 'good minute' from February 28th at 11:59pm to March 1st at 12am based on how well the interview was going)
Candidate C:
Caller: Yeah, I haven't worked in about a year and a half.
Me: Ok, what were you doing during that time?
Caller: Taking care of my grandma.
Me: So what was your last job?
Caller: Macy's.
Me: And when did you start and leave Macy's?
Caller: Uuummm, I started in 2019 October and left in February 2020. It was a seasonal job.
Me: And that was your most recent job?
Caller: Yeah.
Me: (counts on fingers the number of months between February and August--which is 6 if you don't know--and then counts the years between 2020 and 2023--3, if you can't do that math, either.) You said you haven't worked in a year and a half. What have you been doing since you left Macy's?
Caller: I told you, taking care of my grandma.
Me: Ok, you left Macy's in February 2020 and haven't worked since because you were caring for your grandma?
Caller: Yeah.
Me: So you haven't worked in three and a half years...
Caller: ...
People not understanding how to math the passage of time is nothing new to me in this job, but that particular day stood out. The above conversations were only three of the ten bad math-ers I spoke to that day. Granted, some were only a couple of months off, but still, come on people.
Use your fingers at least!
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