To start off, I’d like to reiterate the disclaimer on the front page: If you are easily offended or looking to argue, take yourself elsewhere. The entire point of a blog is to grandstand the author’s point of view (ergo: I don’t care about your comments), and the point of this specific blog is to highlight the comedic nature of humanity’s enthusiasm for self-promotion (ergo: someone is going to be offended because we are going to laugh at you).
Capiche? Great. Moving on.
I work in the staffing industry. The convoluted path as to how I ended up in this industry is detailed in the About section and won’t be discussed again. The point, though, is that I was more interested in leaving my previous position when this option landed on my metaphorical desk, and I accepted without appreciating what, exactly, the staffing industry was. For those of you who also do not know what the staffing industry is, though, let me digress a bit and provide some explanation:
The staffing industry is the middle-man between the employer and the (future) employee. We take a list of skills required by an employer and extract a qualified candidate from a pool of available employees to fill the position. Said another way, we are an outsourced version of what would otherwise be a company’s hiring department. Reasons why an employer would elect to use a staffing agency over using their internal resources generally amount to a desire for cost-savings or an appreciation that the staffing requirement is a temporary blip on the company’s radar and therefore not worth spinning up their staff to find the employees. Whatever the reason, an entire industry built around a metaphorical game of Guess Who? sets the stage as perfect fodder for comedy for two reasons:
1. A candidate employee is only as good as his/her application and subsequent interview. This equals….SELF PROMOTION!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SELF PROMOTION!! While not a particularly novel concept for anyone who has tried to get a job, ever, but the United States, in particular, is a country full of Above Average employees. Just ask us. We will tell you. Usually with detail and only a hint of exaggeration.
2. Quantity over quality, baby. The more employees placed, the more dollars generated. Spent a summer herding cats? Managerial experience! Babysat toddlers with a bucket of legos? Small-parts assembly line experience!
I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with using a staffing agency. Nor am I suggesting it should it be looked-down upon to find work through a staffing agency. No. Rather, I am here merely to share the fantastic and yes, at times, unbelievable stories of my experiences as a staffing agent in what we would call the “medical assembly and light industrial” field for those who need a little pick-me-up on a Monday morning. Oh, also, before I forget, throw in food service and custodial jobs for schools. Randomly. Do not ask me how or why my employer decided that was a logical spin-off to our bread-and-butter light production work because I don’t know. I just work here.
Last, a necessary set of caveats: these experiences will be described so as to not include any personal or confidential information but still get the point across as to why the story is ridiculous. After all, I don’t want to get fired. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns…well, I don’t really care, but leave a comment if you feel the need. I reserve the right to delete or block anything I choose. Because I am also an Above Average Employee, though, I would appreciate any kudos you want to send me. I suspect those comments are less likely to be deleted, so if you too are an Above Average Employee and like to see your published handle…well, you get the point.
Read on.
Comments