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Yours Truly

I would say he failed the screening process.

Updated: Oct 11, 2023


We are living in a digital age. If you were unaware of this, well...actually, if you were unaware of this and are still somehow reading this blog, you are probably related to the guy this entire post is built around.


Anyway.


As a recruiter, we take full advantage of this digital age business and have structured our hiring process so that it is done almost completely online, from submitting your application to filling out hiring paperwork to getting your pay stubs. Online. All of it. Less a minor nit about checking identification documentation, but that’s an old story at this point.

Now, if you've been reading my blog and haven't figured out that I work with many of the dim or unlit bulbs on the figurative Christmas tree, then your Christmas tree probably isn’t shining especially bright during family holidays, either. For those of you who have a general sense of the personnel, though, you can probably figure out we try to make things as simple and idiot-proof as possible. Hand-holding, you might say. [Figuratively. Because let's face it, nobody wants to touch anyone, especially after COVID. Eww.]


Let’s work a hypothetical. Let's say you call in, go through the interview process, and are offered a job. Here is how we explain the next steps of the hiring process:


"We will be sending you an email with a link in it. This email may very well end up in your junk/spam folder, so if you do not see it in your inbox in the next ten or so minutes, double-check your junk/spam folder. If you don't see it anywhere, give us a call back. To access the online hiring paperwork forms, click the link provided in the email. It will ask you to login or register as a new user. You will use the login information we provide in the email to login; we will register you before sending you the link. Once you get logged in, it will prompt you to change your password as the one provided in the email is a one-time-use password. After you change your password, you will be able to fill out all the forms needed for the hiring process. Once you complete the forms online, we will reach out to you to discuss the next steps."

The email that gets sent after the above spiel is given over the phone literally says: "In order to complete the online hiring paperwork, please click the link below to access the login page. [link is listed.] You will login (do NOT register as a new user) with XXX username and YYY temporary password. The website will prompt you to change your password.” blah blah blah. You get the idea. Everything one needs to know spelled out on (digital) paper. Exactly what we told you over the phone. Double whammy.

Now that you have been given all of the background and context you need, let me launch into current events:


My coworker sent a new-hire the email with the link and login information so he could complete the online hiring documents. The guy REPLIES to the email, stating: "I have yet to receive the hiring forms in my email."

Yours Truly, being Yours Truly, stared dumbly at the guy's email for several seconds, attempting to comprehend. Was he anticipating we would send him an email with PDF files of all the documents for him to print out, fill out, sign, and mail back to us? With a stamp? Or maybe fax them back to us? Or scan them and send the completed digital copies back to us that way?


Cue the “uhhhh, what the hell?” expression on my face.

[Sidenote: You know, in comics, when someone/something stinks, it is universally understood that green squiggly lines are used to indicate the smelliness? I'm pretty sure there are equal forms of colored squiggly lines that emanate from an email when it is sent with a particularly strong feeling of 'you're a complete dumbass.' One must always be careful to ensure said squiggly lines are not attached to something you send.]


Being the professional that I am, I didn't want to reply back to this guy's email with undertones of “you're a freaking idiot” without an independent review of the situation, so I forwarded the email to two of my coworkers and asked them how I should reply to the email.


The best response: "I would say he failed the screening process."


Yeah. I agree.

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