I was just thinking the other day that I don’t really lack for anything and maybe this whole holiday gifting situation should just be dropped this year. Maybe focus more on giving than getting – you know, what your parents have been trying to teach since the only thing you ever wanted in your whole life was Cinderella on VHS and you had absolutely no interest in abandoning that whole "better to receive than give" mantra. Problem is, so many people with more money than I have seem to have a lot of the big Needs-with-a-capital-N covered: Food. Sanitation. Clean Water.
It's hard to come up with something that feels like it will make a difference.
And then I thought of it. The one thing that I and I alone can bring to bear…
<insert music and wavy screen that makes it clear we are drifting back into the past…>
I was having one of those days at work when you don’t really want to be working on the thing you need to be working on when I saw a text message pop up on our notification bar. Clutching at the excuse to drop my current task, I pulled up the text and saw someone had texted in their phone number in response to a text we sent asking for them to call us back as we were unable to reach them when we called to follow up on their recent application.
One might say that the person texting us back just wanted to ensure we had the correct phone number on file. Or they were offering a different phone number at which they could be reached.
Well. Two things.
One: The phone number that was texted back to us in response was the same phone number that we initially texted.
Pro tip: We don't need your phone number. We already have it.
Two: We asked you to call us back in our text to you. Are you unable to follow instructions?
Pro tip: If this is your passive-aggressive way to suggest that it is my job to call you…well, I already have a job, am unlikely to lose my job if I never speak to you again, and you are the one looking for a paycheck. Don't try to out-passive-aggressive me!
You would be surprised (or maybe not) how many people reply with their phone number to a text we send asking for them to call us since we couldn't reach them. Not entirely sure what they want us to do with that information since it's the exact same number we have on file from their application. We called it. You didn't answer. That's why we're sending a text. Do you want me to call again, giving you the opportunity to not answer again? No thank you.
If you're a serious job seeker, you can follow the instructions from our text and call us. Otherwise, you're not seriously seeking work or you don't know how to read/follow instructions. Whatever the reason, I'm really not interested in speaking with you anymore.
<insert music and wavy screen that makes it clear we have snapped back to the present. Zoom in on Recruiter industriously writing a letter.>
Dear Santa,
Please provide me with an extra helping of common sense this year so that I can share it with all of my friends…
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