There are two types of people in the world.
A true statement, but a truth that encompasses approximately one million different yin and yang variables. People can be on the wrong side of the fence in one category (one who buys tater tots instead of one who buys French fries, for example) while simultaneously existing as a true martyr of the cause in another category (one who prefers wine to beer, say).
Today I decided, once again, that there are two types of people in the world:
Those who know what's going on, and
Those who are confused.
What situation, you ask, prompted me to come up with the confused vs. un-confused people? Why, I shall explain.
We recently hired a gentleman to work an overnight housekeeping position. Great. He got through the interview, background and drug screen, and started his first day.
Well, “night,” technically, since it was overnights. A fact that will soon become relevant.
He called out the second day and was a no-call/no-show the third and fourth days. Because of that, I fired him on what would have been his fifth day of work. Truly impressive. The consummate professional, I left both a voicemail and sent a text that told him his assignment was ended and to call our office to discuss.
Time passes, and I move on to other issues that will no doubt become other blog posts in the future.
I got an instant message from a coworker at the tail end of the same workday, and she just says, “This dipsh*t.”
Now, when I say something as crass as “this dipsh*t,” most folks think it is a typical Tuesday. This particular coworker hardly swears. Like, ever at all. Anything that prompts such a shocking display of 'harsh' language tends to be amusing, extravagant, or both. I ask her to please elaborate, and she obliges:
Guy called in to quit his job due to his transportation situation (or lack thereof) after obviously not having gotten my message(s) from earlier that morning. My coworker tells him that he's already been ended based on his no-call/no-shows and politely reminds the guy to submit his timecard so we can get his hours processed for payout on Friday.
The guy verbally reports a series of first shift hours. At this employer, first shift is 8am to 5pm with a one-hour break.
Remember, he was hired for an overnight shift.
My coworker asks how the hours he gave her could be possible if he was working overnights, and he get pissed, reiterates (several times, apparently) that the hours he gave her are correct.
Well, alright then.
After she gets his 'hours,' the guy asks if he's going to get paid on Friday. My coworker informs him his payroll will be processed on Friday, and the guy says he needs the money on Friday. My coworker tells him that, if he entered his direct deposit information correctly, the payout should be directly deposited into his account on Friday when payroll is sent out. The guy tells her he doesn't have direct deposit and selected that he receive a paper check in the mail, to which my coworker tells him that his paper check will then be printed and mailed on Friday morning.
Queue up an escalating montage of the (former) employee getting more and more aggravated while my coworker doubles down on calm explanations, repeating that paper checks are processed and mailed out on Fridays, but delivery depends on the USPS (most people typically get it the following Tuesday or Wednesday). He starts threatening to file a report with whatever labor department about not paying him, so she transfers him to Accounting to discuss. They are the fools who are still willing to mail a paper check in this day and age, so may as well make them explain the innermost workings of the USPS to the guy.
Oh, circling back to the incorrectly reported timecard issue: I send over the hours the guy reported to his (former) supervisor and ask for verification.
The supervisor, in a spectacular display of dry wit, says: “apparently he was confused.”
Apparently so.
That is fantastic haha. Some people….